


Opalescent.

by mini_cutie



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon Compliant, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-07-06 11:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15885207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mini_cutie/pseuds/mini_cutie
Summary: Changkyun has always been scared of the six strips of color streaked across his wrist. They looked harmless, almost like paint swatches, but they were more than that. And it scared Changkyun.How could he not be terrified of them? They made him stand out, made him different from everyone else, made him the butt of everyone's jokes. He was Im Changkyun, the weird kid with six soulmates. It was practically unheard of. A lot of people accused him of faking it for the attention. Others called it a glitch, a mistake.Eventually, Changkyun covered himself up. He stopped wearing short sleeves, stopped showing too much skin, stopped showing too much emotion. He learned to close himself off because, as much as he wanted to see himself painted in different colours, see himself become a piece of artwork with all of the colours his soulmates gave him, it was easier to hide away.At least, that's what he told himself.





	1. red.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [My Own Masterpiece (On Your Skin)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14233755) by [lynrox101](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lynrox101/pseuds/lynrox101). 



> im starting another story? why yes, yes i am. i kno, it sucks. i just got inspired!!! im so sorry... i promise i wont forget about my other stories

> red - the colour of impulsivity, of passions and desires, of determination, of strong feelings, _of love._

 

Before becoming a trainee, Changkyun was often asked why he dressed in the clothes he wore. He was never without long sleeves or long pants and, especially during the summer, people grew concerned.

It was uncommon for people to dress like he did. Even in the cold of winter, most people still tried to have some skin showing. 

Changkyun could understand why they did it though.  _ What if they couldn't find their soulmates because their clothes covered their skin? _ That was what they were concerned about. 

That was the point, though. Changkyun didn't want to find his soulmate. Or, rather, he didn't want to find  _ any one _ of his soulmates since, apparently, he had six to choose from.

Now that he was a trainee, though, less people questioned his odd fashion. It was common for trainees to cover up more. The reasons varied (trainees had soulmates they wanted to hide, they didn't want to meet their soulmates, etc) but it all really boiled down to the fact that they weren't supposed to have soulmates. 

After all, a trainee with a soulmate was harder to sell to the fans. The fans couldn't dream about being soulmates with their favourite idol if the idol already had colour decorating their skin.

So, instead of being concerned for Changkyun who was now a trainee, they just let his choice of clothing slide. It was the norm so what was there to be concerned about? That was why Changkyun had thought that he was good. 

He wasn't going to stick out like a sore thumb anymore. 

It was bad enough that he was labelled as the  _ Trainee that Cheated to Win No.Mercy _ , he didn't need soulmate marks to make him stick out even more.

Apparently, he was wrong.

 

They had been practicing their dance for their debut. There was a dance move where he had to hold hands with Kihyun, Hyunwoo and Minhyuk so that they formed a weird X with their arms. 

Hearing about it before had made Changkyun queasy. This would be the first time he touched any one of them in the entire history of knowing them. 

It was hard to do so after what happened in No.Mercy but they were all past that and so Changkyun didn't voice any of his anxieties about being so distant. Instead, he let the members come to him. So far, it wasn’t exactly working very well.

In any case, it was their first run of the choreography. He thought nothing could go wrong and, if anything happened, it was their first run, they were excused from any mistakes.

Everything started to go wrong when their hands touched. 

Changkyun saw it, saw the colour flood his hand, splash across his palm. Hues of red, hues of yellow, hues of blue. They all mixed like watercolour and his skin was the canvas. He couldn't help but be reminded of a setting sun on an ocean horizon, how the colours blended together to make a beautiful landscape. 

He had briefly wondered what colour he left on their hands, what colour he was to them. However, before he could look, the dance was over and he had to let go, to move across the room, to focus on anything but the colours splattered on his palm.

Changkyun was lucky that the three boys were too busy with the choreography because, it seemed, he was the only one frequently glancing at his own hands in his reflection on the mirror. 

 

Now, though, now that they were back in the dorms, there's no way that Minhyuk, Kihyun and Hyunwoo wouldn't notice the colour,  _ Changkyun’s  _ colour. 

Changkyun had hastily searched up how to get rid of the soulmate marks that splattered across his hands. A lot of the search results sounded stupid or impossible but one of them had suggested ice cold water.

Which was why Changkyun was in the bathroom at that very second, hands in a sink-full of the coldest water he could manage. At this point, he could barely feel his fingers. 

It worked though. Slowly, like it had just been some sort of paint, the colours seeped out of his hands, off of his palms. He felt bittersweet as he watched it happen, slowly but surely.

At first, he wondered why ice cold water like this made it wash away. What was the science behind it? Or, perhaps, it was just another unexplained phenomenon like the soulmate marks? The questions kept coming, one after the other, trailing off into a tangent until Changkyun really didn't know what direction his thoughts were going.

It was like he was in a trance, really, and then he was stuck in his own push-and-pull thoughts. Suddenly, he wondered what would happen now.

His first reaction to getting the colour on his skin was to wash it away. Did that mean that he didn't want his soulmates? No, that wasn't right. He did want his soulmates. He wanted to get to know them and fall in love with them and be constantly covered in a beautiful sunset.

But then why was he trying to hide it? Why did he erase the colours? Changkyun tried telling himself that it was because he wanted options. He wanted to be able to pick what to do instead of being forced to out himself.

But, was that really it?

There was a knock at the door that startled Changkyun. He quickly drained the sink, flushed the toilet, wiped his hands. He then turned and opened the door.

He was met with an angry Kihyun. Well, most likely, Kihyun wasn't angry at all. He just came off that way sometimes. It took Changkyun a while to learn that.

“Let me see your hands.”

Changkyun’s breath hitched and his heart thumped in his chest. He could've sworn it beat loudly enough for Kihyun to hear but, of course, that wasn't true.

He didn't know why he was nervous. He knew his palms were empty, he watched the colour leave them, and he knew they would ask questions eventually. Knowing that, he still felt anxious as he raised his hands to show Kihyun.

Kihyun’s eyebrows scrunched a little as if confused. Changkyun could imagine his confusion. Kihyun probably did the math in his head. There was a foreign colour on his skin, Changkyun was a person he touched that day, therefore the colour might've been from Changkyun.

The fact that Changkyun’s hands were blank made that math a little shaky.

However, Kihyun didn't seem to want to quit because he almost reached out to Changkyun as if he wanted to see for himself that, if he touched Changkyun’s hands, it wouldn't erupt into beautiful crimsons and scarlets and vermillions.

When he did that, Changkyun saw the splatter of greys and blacks and whites on Kihyun’s skin. It was small, barely noticeable among all the yellow and blue, but it was there. He was used to seeing Kihyun covered in so many different colours but never anything monochrome like that. 

So, his colour on Kihyun was white? Black?  _ Grey?  _ Changkyun wasn't exactly sure. 

It looked so out of place though, so colourless. It made Changkyun flinch, made him almost withdraw his hands. He felt bad for destroying such colour with his pathetic black-and-white splatter.

“Sorry, I forgot you're not a fan of skinship.” Kihyun noticed Changkyun’s hesitation and looked apologetic as he took his hand back.

“Its okay, hyung.” Changkyun waved the apology off, mostly because he felt like he should be the one apologising, before quickly changing the subject “Why were you asking to see my hands?”

“I just-- I thought-- Maybe--” Kihyun struggled with his words, which seemed like a first, before showing Changkyun the palm of his hand. He didn’t need to voice the rest of his sentence. Changkyun could figure it out himself. 

_ He thought Changkyun was the monochrome mess smudged across his palm. _

Changkyun pretended to look mildly surprised but, really, he already knew, already saw it among the colours of rainbow on Kihyun’s skin, already felt the guilt and sadness rise in his chest.

He didn’t know what to say though. 

If he admitted to the fact that he was the grey, that he had indeed left that colour on Kihyun’s skin, wouldn’t it be suspicious? Why did he look like he was so eager to hide that fact? Why did he erase the colours on his palm?

But, wouldn’t continuing to hide it be even harder? Especially when he had thought that he did want to be with his soulmates?

“Wouldn’t that be an odd coincidence, hyung?” Changkyun decided to say, chuckling though his laugh seemed empty, even to him “All seven of us?”

Kihyun’s face scrunched up and, at first, the emotion was undecipherable to Changkyun. However, after a few seconds, Changkyun realised that Kihyun was trying to think. It was hard to pinpoint but he recognized the expression to be the one Kihyun usually made when he was unsure of what to do.

“Is that weird to you?” Kihyun finally spoke up and his expression changed from the confused one he had to a more concerned one “It definitely takes some time to… to get used to…”

“Jooheon definitely took his time to acclimate to the weird situation…” Kihyun quickly added, obviously concerned about Changkyun’s opinion “...and, trust me, it may not look it, but Wonho had been vehemently opposed  _ at first _ \--”

“No, it’s not. I’m not.” Changkyun babbled out before realising that he sounded stupid so he quickly scrambled to correct himself “What I meant to say is that… It’s not weird to me. You guys are soulmates. Love sees no colour, right?”

“And you know that we accept you, right? We were a little mean during No.Mercy but we didn't mean to. We truly care about you.” Kihyun had added after what Changkyun had said, eyes searching Changkyun’s for some sort of sign but Changkyun didn't know why.

So, instead, Changkyun smiled reassuringly as he nodded his head ever so slightly “I know that. We're past that now, hyung. You guys weren't even that mean to me. You just needed time to warm up.”

Kihyun nodded back and he even seemed to believe Changkyun which felt like both a relief and a regret to him. However, Kihyun wasn't leaving. He didn't look like he was ending the conversation.

“Then, if that's the case, why are you lying to me?”

Changkyun’s heart definitely stopped or it flew all the way into his throat. He was surely choking on  _ something _ or, maybe, that feeling just came with the breathlessness. Either way, he tried to keep his face blank, keep himself free of any reaction.

He had thought he had been good, that everything was going swell.

“I--”

Kihyun shook his head which, of course, made Changkyun stop almost immediately. Instead of saying anything, though, Kihyun just took Changkyun’s hand into his. 

Their fingers intertwined, palms pressing against each other’s. Before long, colour burst from where their skin touched.

Red spiraled from Kihyun’s skin and onto Changkyun. He was mesmerized by it, how it looked like ink swirling inside water, billowing and flowing, spreading across the back of his hand, down his wrist. He thought it looked beautiful. The reds, all different shades, all blending together, creating such a beautiful masterpiece.

Changkyun’s eyes were drawn away from the red, though, when he realized that he was leaving his mark on Kihyun, just like Kihyun was leaving his mark on Changkyun.

To Changkyun, it looked so unfortunate.

The blacks and whites and greys, they all smudged together, spreading across Kihyun’s skin. It was definitely not as beautiful as the red on Changkyun’s hand or the yellows and blues that were left on Kihyun before. Even so, the monochrome seeped through, covering the yellows and the blues, leaving just a colourless mess.

It was then that Changkyun realised it. He realised that he wasn't afraid of the colours on his wrist, wasn't afraid of having six soulmates, wasn't afraid of not having choices. 

Instead, what he was really terrified of was putting himself out there. If he acknowledged the fact that he had soulmates, if he decided to get close to them, it would mean that he would have to drop down all of the walls he had so artfully built up over the years.

It would expose him, leave him vulnerable, allow them to see the softest parts of him. 

In some cases, that would've been beautiful. Finally, all of the parts of him that he hated the most could be loved. But, what if they didn't love it? Didn't love  _ him?  _ Because, really, who would love something so plain, something so colourless, so  _ monochrome? _

Even worse, what if they decided, like everyone had decided before, that he was a mistake? That he didn't belong with them? Everyone were these vibrant colours; reds and yellows and blues, the rainbow splattered across their bodies, like gorgeous art pieces.

He was the monochrome, coming in, covering the colours, ruining them.

“Beautiful.” Kihyun had whispered, pulling Changkyun out of his thoughts. His eyes snapped up, looking right into Kihyun’s. They stared at each other like that for what felt like eternity.

Changkyun didn’t know what to do. He definitely couldn't help but think that Kihyun was talking about the red because the monochrome definitely didn't look like anything other than a mess. It was smothering, covering, destroying.

Quickly, Changkyun scrambled to let go.


	2. orange.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changkyun briefly wondered if Jooheon thought the colours were beautiful or, if, by some miracle, he thought Changkyun himself looked beautiful.

 

> orange - the colour of adventure, of freedom and fun, of fascination, of creativity, of independence, _of optimism and hope_
> 
>  

Changkyun could remember the first time he properly sat down with all of the trainees in No.Mercy.

The first couple of days there, he was obviously an outsider. Other than Kihyun, who had told him to sit with them in the living room the night he had arrived, and Yoonho, who kindly talked to him, nobody else really regarded him with much enthusiasm.

Changkyun tried not to take it too personally. After all, it was completely understandable. There they were, struggling to get one of a set number of spots, and there he was, another obstacle in their way. No.Mercy really was aptly named.

However, Changkyun supposed, they realised that they were stuck with him and eventually made amends for ignoring him.

Jooheon had been first. He and Changkyun had a talk and, though it was in front of a camera, it was definitely heartfelt and reassuring. It gave Changkyun a hopeful feeling and, suddenly, everything felt a little more positive than before.

Ultimately, they had all sat down, just like his first night there, and they all _properly_ introduced themselves to him. A couple of them, like Wonho and Minhyuk, still seemed angry but they talked to him at least.

They explained that, though they did resent him a little, they understood that he probably didn't choose to be put in the situation he was in. Changkyun even told them the truth. That he had auditioned for Starship and signed the contract, all without knowing that they'd put him in No.Mercy.

He was glad to have had the talk. It made him feel closer to them, made him feel like they all could accept him one way or another.

That was when he learned about it.

A lot of them already found their soulmates. Yoonho, for example, had Seokwon which, of course, explained the streaks of red like clay Changkyun often found on Seokwon. Yoonho, on the other hand, was more conservative of the marks Seokwon left on him.

Either way, mentioning that immediately moved the conversation onto the interesting soulmate marks the rest of them had. More specifically, the soulmate marks _six of them_ had.

When it came to soulmate marks, usually, they were just plain colours. This specific shade of red, that specific shade of blue.

For Kihyun, Jooheon, Minhyuk, Wonho, Hyunwoo and Hyungwon, it was completely different.

They explained that each of them represented a colour of the rainbow and that, if they focused hard enough, they could make their colours spread out into different hues, like how watercolour spreads out against a blank canvas, each colour blending into one another.

In fact, sometimes, they could even mix their colours. Kihyun and Hyunwoo’s touch made beautiful purple. Jooheon and Minhyuk could layer their colours to create a beautiful sunset. Hyungwon and Wonho made a neutral but cool grey.

It was so fascinating. Changkyun was definitely surprised, mostly because he'd never seen someone have more than one soulmate. Now, here they were, a group of soulmates, all with each other. To top it off, their soulmate marks worked in such a beautiful and unique way.

He could admit, at least to himself, that he had a growing inkling starting right then and there. It was too much of a coincidence after all. The swatches on his wrist were the rainbow and there this group of six were, each one of them making a different colour of the rainbow on each other's skin.

 

Now that Changkyun looked back on it, it really had been too much of a coincidence. He had brushed it off as too good to be true, though, and left it at that.

Sitting in a chair, in a small empty practice room, staring at the streaks of colour on his wrist and the red on his other hand, Changkyun wondered if things would've played out differently if he had been forthright.

It would've certainly been awkward if he was just straightforward with them and showed them his wrist. Certainly, the last thing they wanted to hear was that the trainee they couldn't exactly accept at the time was also suddenly their soulmate too.

Then again, it seemed just as awkward now.

After he had let go of Kihyun’s hand, Changkyun quickly left, too scared of his sudden realization. He didn't stick around long enough to see Kihyun’s reaction.

It had been a day now and it felt like Kihyun hadn't mentioned it to anyone. Everyone acted as they usually did. Everyone made sure to follow their usual schedule of practicing for their comeback. Everyone said nothing about Changkyun, about Kihyun, _about anything_.

Maybe Kihyun took Changkyun’s rejection harshly and that was why he refused to say anything about it to the other members.

Changkyun knew for a fact that Kihyun at least had a talk about it with Hyunwoo and Minhyuk. He had accidentally eavesdropped on the conversation and could only pick up that their talk was about the black and white splatter on their palms.

He could’ve sworn that Minhyuk demanded to know something because of the larger amount of monochrome on Kihyun’s skin compared to Minhyuk’s and Hyunwoo’s. However, if anything came out of that, Changkyun had no clue what.

He hadn’t eavesdropped long enough to really hear the rest of the conversation.

Just as Changkyun sighed, tired of the thoughts that plagued his mind, the door to the practice room opened, startling him completely. Thankfully, it was just Jooheon, grinning at him from the doorframe.

“Is it okay if I join you?”

“Of course.” Changkyun chuckled a little nervously, scooting his chair so that Jooheon could move the other chair closer and sit down. “What’s up, man?”

“Nothing much.” Jooheon did as Changkyun expected, pulling the extra chair in the room closer and sitting down. However, the smile on his face slowly vanished, replaced with a small sheepish expression.

Changkyun couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow “What?”

Jooheon’s eyes fluttered down to stare at Changkyun’s hands and, right at that moment, a sinking feeling filled Changyun’s chest. He quickly tried to hide his hands in his sweater sleeves but it was too late. Jooheon already saw.

“Don’t worry, Ki-hyung already talked to me about it.” Jooheon said casually though he still sounded just a little bit nervous.

“He did?” Changkyun tried not to sound too surprised but, from the look on Jooheon’s face and from the way he retreated into himself, Changkyun could tell that he wasn’t so successful.

Before Changkyun could apologise, however, Jooheon spoke up first “I know that it’s a lot, you know. I felt the same way too.”

Changkyun paused as if to get his bearings “Wait, what? What’s a lot?”

“You know, having six soulmates or whatever? It takes some getting used to, that’s for sure.” Jooheon chuckled nervously, hand flying up to rub at the back of his neck.

Changkyun let that sink in. Jooheon didn’t think that the problem lay with Changkyun. In fact, Jooheon seemed to assume--or perhaps Kihyun told him--that the problem was with them, with the fact that there was six of them.

Of course, Changkyun didn’t know if he should correct Jooheon. On one hand, he didn’t like it when Jooheon apologised for something that wasn’t his fault--something Jooheon did almost all the time--but Changkyun especially didn’t like Jooheon apologising for something he couldn’t even control.

But, he didn’t think he could admit it to Jooheon. _Or anyone, for that matter_. He didn’t want to have to tell them that he had baggage. He had always grown up different and it was hard to fit in when you had to keep moving. From America to Israel, he had always stuck out.

Then, when he finally came to Korea, where everyone else looked like him, he was still a sore thumb. Because, yes, they looked like him but they rarely ever acted like him or understood things like he did. That kind of experience does shit to people, _did_ shit to Changkyun.

Not just that either but so many other things about made him so unlikeable.

Changkyun glanced over at Jooheon, at the way the boy fidgeted, eyes expectant as he stared at his fellow teammate and now soulmate. Jooheon truly looked like he was nervous but that he enjoyed Changkyun’s presence nonetheless.

So, maybe not _unlikeable_ . Less unlikeable, more _protected_. Changkyun didn’t trust easily, didn’t give in so easily, didn’t get any friendlier. He had built up walls upon walls to barricade the space between him and everyone else.

Before, he had thought it was the right thing to do. Then, he realised, building walls didn’t just keep people out. It also kept him isolated. By then, it was too late.

Sure, Changkyun was willing to trust his team, wanted to be a part of this group, was willing to knock down one wall. One wall, however, did not give anyone access to his heart.

There were walls behind walls, all just blockades, all to protect himself. Would he really allow these six people that he barely knew, six people that didn’t even like him, to get close to him? Would he allow them to break his heart?

Before Changkyun could formulate the answer on his tongue, Jooheon reached forward. His hand wasn’t _fast_ , Changkyun was just so preoccupied. Before he knew it, the older boy’s hand was cupping Changkyun’s cheek, finger ghosting over the area under his ear, below his jaw, across his cheek.

Changkyun felt horrified or, at least, that was what he identified the twisting feeling in his gut to be.

He, of course, couldn’t see how the colours swirled across the skin on his face but he could at least see his reflection on the window of the door.

The colors were a little faded but Changkyun could tell the orange apart from his skin, could see the way it billowed and swirled, just like Kihyuns, just like ink across water.

From the corner of his eye--because, apparently, the color had already spread there too--Changkyun could see a soft orange. It was bright in its own way but not mesmerizingly so. It was a moderate brightness that looked almost like the soft orange of clouds, of a setting sun, of flower petals in meadows.

Changkyun couldn’t see what the colour looked like on his skin but he could tell it was beautiful.

A quick glance at Jooheon told Changkyun that he thought it was beautiful too. There was just this awestruck look on Jooheon’s face. His lips were parted slightly as if his jaw had gone slack. His eyes were wide as if trying to take in everything in front of him.

Changkyun briefly wondered if Jooheon thought the colours were beautiful or, if, by some miracle, he thought Changkyun himself looked beautiful.

He couldn’t let himself hope for the second one. It was unlikely if not almost impossible.

Changkyun’s hand reached up, as if completely on impulse, and, before he knew it, Changkyun placed his hand on top of Jooheon’s. He couldn’t see the billowing whites and blacks, the ugly monochrome, the colours that ruined.

But, suddenly, it felt like it didn’t matter.

The twisting in his gut was still there. His heart had joined in, tugging, beating rapidly, rhythm all wrong. The skin under Jooheon’s palm burned. There was something prodding at Changkyun’s mind as if there was a thought he quickly dropped as soon as Jooheon had touched him.

There was nothing calming about Jooheon’s touch.

Yet, even with all of those feelings bombarding him, Changkyun couldn’t help but just lean into Jooheon’s touch, feel his warm soft palm against Changkyun’s cheek.

For the first time, Changkyun allowed himself to feel hopeful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah the updates are slow but these chapters are far larger than im used to? but i want to be used to it so updates will stay slow. we're 2/7ths of the way there tho!!!
> 
> thank you for reading. if you liked this cute chapter, please leave a kudos or a comment! thank you so much and i'll try and update soon
> 
> if you wanna get some updates, my tumblr is mini-ghost-writer and my twitter is minikkukkungi. there's not much on either of them but like... if you wanna follow anyway lmao. on my twitter, there's a poll up on which story you guys want updated asap? so if you wanna vote on that, hmu! i only have my top three most popular stories on there but you can dm me or retweet it with a vote if the story you wanna vote on isn't an option

**Author's Note:**

> you finished reading it! im so glad! i hope you ended up liking it! if you did, you should leave a sweet comment or a tasty kudos. i'll try to update as soon as i can. thank you so much!


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